More often than not, lately, I feel that I have been written into a scene from a Portlandia episode. Yesterday's example:
Scene: Grocery market, check-out line.
Me, casually emptying the contents of my basket.
Checker: "Can you pass your bags to me?"
Me: "I'm so sorry. I forgot them today."
Checker, eyes narrowing: "Forgot them? With this many groceries, you want me to use paper bags??"
Me: "Again, I'm so sorry. I promise to re-use the paper ones or recycle them."
Checker: "You know, you look pretty put together today for someone who claims she forgot her bags."
Me: "I'm Catholic, you know. Just thought I'd mention it so you know I'm already feeling pretty guilty about the bags."
Checker: "Are you even wearing lip gloss? But you forgot those bags, huh?"
Me: "Did I mention my Catholic guilt?"
Yep. And I even double-checked the scene for hidden cameras. Nope, this is just urban Portland for you. True story.
Good thing she didn't see me hopping into my, gasp, SUV! Can you imagine? Better safe than sorry. Next time, I'm carrying my bike helmet into the store with me-- even if I do drive!
7 comments:
No way! Did she really comment that you were wearing lip gloss?! Too funny!
nI need to know what store you are shopping at--I will never go there! Long Live Bales, where I can forget my wallet and still take home my groceries ("just bring me the money before my shift ends").
It was our neighborhood New Seasons. I actually love all of the checkers there but this one did give me a pretty hard time. She was mostly teasing...mostly. They did once let me return to pay when I forgot my wallet, though, in their defense.
You just looked too cute, that's all! :0)
Wow...I wish my checkers were like that! I get a strange, semi-annoyed look from them BECAUSE I brought my own bag!
That's hilarious.... that is very close to an episode of Portlandia. Too funny! ~Nikki
maybe you should try to sell your story to the portlandia writers!
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